Anel and cheerleading

Anel has tried out for her school's cheerleading squad for the past three years, starting as a 5th grader.  The first time, she didn't make it.  She claims her nerves got the best of her.  As a 6th grader, again, she didn't make it.  She claims her "toe touch" was not high enough.  As a 7th grader, she tried out again, pretty confident this would be her last tryout - she made it.

The first two tryouts that didn't turn out as she had hoped, were an opportunity to teach a 'life lesson.'  Many times, at life, we try, we try and still don't succeed. Sometimes, it's perhaps the notion that we think we've tried hard enough or prepared enough, when in fact we haven't.  Or perhaps other times, it's just fate, it wasn't mean to be.  I used those 'failed' opportunities to try and send the message, that sometimes things just don't turn out the way we hoped for.  It's a hard lesson for adults, much harder for a child/soon to be teenager.  You hear the usual, 'it isn't fair, why me, I'm just not meant to do this, etc...'  And perhaps some of these complaints are valid.  But, they don't get you closer to your goal.
Frankly, I didn't push the issue any of the three times.  I asked her what she wanted and to go ahead with it.  I did try to fill in the 'void' of not making it the first two times.  We tried cooking/baking lessons, other things to make her feel successful at something.

This last time, she was more prepared and more determined.  She practiced her toe touch.  She perfected the routines.  She wanted it bad.  I always try to prepare my kids for worst case scenario.  Maybe it's my maternal instincts kicking in.  In spite of all this preparation, I reminded her, you still may not make it.  You have to be ready for that too.  I know, I know, positive thinking.  But after being married to Herman for quite some time now, his philosophy of, "Prepare for the worst and hope for the best" has rubbed off.

So the day came, she tried out, and said she felt confident.  Then the waiting game began.  A few days later, I hear a yelp.  "MOM, I MADE IT!"
It's so great when our kids accomplish something they wanted so bad.  It's just cheerleading, I know, but I think a good valuable lesson came out of it.  If at first, you don't succeed, try and try again.  I hope she keeps that thought tugged right near her heart.  She will not always succeed, I realize that.  But she won't stop trying.

Halloween 2012

As a family, we really try to make Halloween fun for the kids and ourselves!  We usually have family over and make some fun and "spooky" snacks.  Later, we try and have some activities for the kids before we go for candy.  This year, we decided to begin dressing up, in some type of family "theme."  My friend Micaela has been doing this with her family for a few years now and they really get a kick out of it, as does their neighbors!

So we went with the witches and wizards theme.  The twins were not happy, as evidenced in the pictures.  They freaked when they saw Herman dressed up.  (see pictures!)  He didn't last long with the costume, but we managed to get in a few pictures.

This year, Anel decided to stay behind and pass out the candy.  We missed her on our "trick or treat" journey, but I guess it's a sign she's growing up. :(
We also decided to forego our golf cart rental this year, and walked the neighborhood.  Those of you that have been here know that the distances between one house and the next are pretty far stretched, so suffice is to say, we got our workout in that night!

I long for a Halloween night that falls on Friday or Saturday.  I feel the kids are so rushed when they have to wake up early for school the next day.  They really can't enjoy sorting through their candy and just relaxing after a fun evening out.  That's been a bummer for the last couple of years, but soon we'll have Halloween fall on a Friday and Saturday night.  YAY!

I feel that this year the holiday madness has been upon us earlier than usual.  As I went about the stores on Nov. 1, I noticed that all of the holiday decorations are out.  What happened to Thanksgiving?

Until next time,
XOXO

All four girls begin school!

August brought a new normal to our home.  Twice a week, all four girls are in school.  The twins began preschool twice a week.  So for those few hours, there is an eerie silence in my home that has taken some getting used to.  Don't get me wrong, I welcome it.  However, for the past twelve years, my ears have gotten accustomed to girls' shrieks, squeals and giggles.  I'll admit I do miss them when they are not here.  All of them.  I try to squeeze in as much as I can those few hours they are at school.  It's amazing how much one can accomplish simultaneously.  However, sometimes, I just try and relax.  Relaxing is a skill I need to perfect.  It does not come easily to me.  But I continue to work on it!

The twins love their school and get upset on the days they don't go.  They have made great gains in their vocabulary and verbal skills since they began.  I see their love for their teacher and their enthusiasm in going to "school."

Anel and Alia are now in 7th and 2nd grade respectively.  Amazing that Anel only has one more school year left in middle school then it's off to high school.  Where's that little girl I was holding in my arms just the other day?

I try to savor each and every moment with my girls.  Although many times I'm wiped out, I try to remember how quickly time passes and I try not to take for granted the gifts that I have been given.  Four healthy children.

I am blessed!

Anna Maria Island- Family Vacation - 2012

This year we had decided to go to Anna Maria Island for our annual family vacation.  The timing was difficult because we were set to leave ten days after Tony's passing.  After much thought, we decided that the timing was perfect.  This was the perfect time to huddle together as a family and support each other during the difficult days.  We convinced Emoy to join us for a few days.  It was hard to get Tony off anyone's mind.  He was an avid cook, and the year before had enjoyed himself cooking for all of us in Marco Island.  I, for one, kept thinking how different it would've been if he had been there.  But in a way, he was.  We made the best of a difficult time for all of us.  We laughed, we cried, and we remembered.  We know he would've wanted us to go on and enjoy ourselves.  Tony, we tried.

Twins learn how to swim

This summer, the twins had their first swimming lessons.  They both did very well.  Ania seems to feel more comfortable in the water, while Aila seems more cautious.  Either way, they both learned the basic skills and God forbid, if they were to fall in deep water, they have both been taught and have shown that they know what to do.  Ms. Tracy was their swim teacher, and it was funny how Aila would scream when she heard the doorbell, first thing in the morning.  She knew it was Ms. Tracy!  Little by little, they both got more comfortable in the water.  I'm hoping that by next year, they will feel more confident and I will be even more relaxed knowing they can swim.  Although we never let our guard down, (or our baby gate), it does give you a great sense of relief to know all my girls are good swimmers.

July Birthday Girls, Anel and Ciara

Anel and Ciara have birthdays 5 days apart.  They usually are together on their birthdays.  This year Ciara was with us on her birthday.  We went to lunch and then surprised the girls with a couple of days at the Ritz-Carlton Key Biscayne.  They had so much fun, although I was missing my sister who had joined us the previous year.  We made the best of it though, and I think what they really loved was room service.  What is it with room service and kids?  They were looking forward to the one night I allowed them to order.  They enjoyed games by the pool, dinner at the Italian Restaurant, and even our walk to the local Winn-Dixie!

The Ritz does a great job of making their guests feel like royalty and the girls got a kick out of that.  I kept reminding them, if you like this lifestyle, you will have to work for it!  Go to college and educate yourselves!  I think this experience taught them that!

End of School Year and Summer Recital

The girls finished school in June and had their yearly ballet recital shortly thereafter.  Anel has taken ballet and dance lessons for about ten years now, five in this studio.  She received a "5 year" trophy, which she had been waiting for for about five years!  This year she began pointe lessons and is very excited about it.
Alia has been dancing for 4 years, and will get her trophy next year.
They did a fantastic job and really enjoy their recitals.  I hope they keep these memories of their dance years close to their hearts.  And of course, the twins began this September their first ballet classes!  And they are loving it!  Not surprised.  With a house full of girls, ballet slippers, leotards, tutus and tights abound in our home!

Alia and her violin

Alia decided about a year ago that she wanted to learn how to play the violin.  Basically, the idea came from her favorite show, The Fresh Beat Band, which, we happened to go see in concert earlier this year.  She's been playing for about one year now, and does very well.  She participated in a mini-concert at the school where she takes the lesson.  Ms. Marcee, her teacher does a great job of making the learning of a new instrument great fun.  Alia looks forward to her weekly class and Ms. Marcee even mentioned she's learning very rapidly and really well.
We hope she continues to pursue this interest.  She is actually pretty good!

Father's Day!

Just so my husband doesn't complain that Father's Day goes unmentioned, we DID have a Father's Day celebration.  The older girls prepared a manly breakfast for him and we gave him the best gift of all.  SLEEP!!!!!
Here are a few pics of that day.

Summer 2012

 This summer we went to Virginia again, by car.  I guess I must be a masochist...
It actually went very well.  I keep my expectations low and realistic, and I wasn't disappointed.  We break up the trip by stopping in Savannah on our way to and from. It's basically an 8 hour drive the first day, and about a 10 hr. drive the next.  We stop about every 4 hours, depending on the condition of the divas.  Anel hates the car trip but loves it when we get there.  Alia and the twins do very well.  Their notion of time is different, so they are not so frustrated when I announce, "Only 10 hours to go!"

We visited our friends and former neighbors and enjoyed our time.  We were there approximately 10 days.  A visit to Georgetown Cupcakes is always in our agenda.  We also had dinner with the Ashurkoffs a couple of times and with the Darrs.  I got to see my friends Lori, Veronica, Jen and their beautiful families.

On our way back, we stopped in Gainesville to spend time with my sister and Tony and picked up Ciara, who usually spends a good part of the summer with us.

It was a good trip, although mentally I really wasn't there.  My mind kept going to my sister and Tony.

                                   Outside Georgetown Cupcakes

                          Enjoying lunch at the American Girl store

                                        Jen, myself and the twins

                                       With Marina at the movies

                          With the Finamore's, eight kids between both families!

Backtracking to Mother's Day 2012

Sticking to my plan, I've decided to backtrack and just retell (mostly for my memory's sake) this year's events.  So we go back to Mother's Day.  This year we celebrated at Olive's Garden.  The whole crew was there, except my sister Emoy, of course, and we had a great time.  I think we should celebrate Mother's Day everyday!  Don't you think so?

Out of our routine and into a rough road...

You know how I've said in the past that I thrive in routine...  I'm a control freak.  I bask in rituals and repetitions.  Boring is good for me...

Well, since my last post, boring would not be the correct adjective to describe the experiences our family has been through.  More like heartbreaking, difficult, unbelievable and devastating...

Three days following my last post, my brother-in-law, Tony, received the call he had been waiting for for the last 9 months.  A new heart was awaiting him in Shands Hospital in Gainesville. Tony suffered from cardiomyopathy and although he lived a full life for roughly 12 years with this condition, it was inevitable that he would need a heart transplant.  Filled with optimism, hope and gratitude, Tony received his heart on May 3rd, in what seemed to be an uneventful transplant.

Upon visiting him just roughly 24 hours after the procedure, my husband, mom and nephew who accompanied me to Shands, could hardly believe our eyes.  Tony looked amazing!  I kept saying and thinking how it seemed he had undergone a Tonsillectomy, not a heart transplant!

For the next few days, Tony seemed to be recovering nicely, albeit some minor common issues like tiredness, shortness of breath, etc...  However, the day before Mother's Day, he just didn't feel well.  Already home, I communicated with my sister who informed me that he just didn't look right...

Sparing all of you and myself with the heartbreaking details, Tony basically underwent a series of cardiac arrests, multiple infections, liver and kidney damage, a spleenectomy, probably hundreds of blood transfusions, medications, interventions, etc...  for roughly 9 weeks.  It was a hard, grueling nine weeks.  Throughout this time, my sister kept a faith-filled vigil by his side.  Family members and friends came and went, including myself.  But my sister remained bedside.  With determined faith-filled prayer and acceptance, she continually asked Christ for strength and fortitude to help her confront each unpredictable moment.  Christ never fails.  And that's exactly what He did.  On July 12th, Tony's body could not withstand any further and he passed on.  And my sister displayed the most strength, faith and acceptance in these circumstances than I've ever witnessed in another human being.  I'm humbled by her.

Trying to recount the last 2+ months in details would be impossible.  So I will just say this.  Grief is not a state, it's a process.  It's processed by individuals in different forms.  There is no right way to grieve.  However, it can be all-consuming.  It can devastate you and it can tear your world to pieces.
Tony's passing has affected me and my family in ways that only those who have loved and lost someone, fairly young, can relate.  It rips your heart out.  It shakes you to your core.  It literally takes your breath away.  But those of us who live a faith filled life and who have a support system seem to fare a bit better.  I see it in my sister.  She's a living example of it.  You've got to grieve, yell, scream, cry, hurt or even punch a wall.  And one day, one day, I hope, that her, and all of those who have lost a loved one, learn to "dance" again, even if it's with the "limp" that their loved one's departing has left in their hearts.  With God and love, all things are possible.

Tony, we promise you, to hold on to the memories we created and laugh at the fun times we shared.  You are missed.

Chugging along....

At least I didn't wait 3 months, only 1 month to blog!

Things are going well.  Hard to believe it will be May tomorrow.  We are counting down till summer.  Obviously, it always seems like it's summer in Florida, but truly, it's not.  Our 'winters' are sometimes a bit too cold for the pool, so we really look forward to summer. In the summer, we just hang out!  I love the fact that there's not much of a routine.  I was thinking this summer we would tackle a bit more crafts than we usually do.  I told Anel that we should try and do a craft a week.  Alia is at that age when you can actually do a craft with her and enjoy it!  This will of course, take place while the twins nap. I am so NOT a crafty person.  I wish I had the patience of my sister, who can spend hours doing crafts.  But I get desperate and impatient.  Maybe a lesson in patience that I need to learn....

Anyhow, I am looking forward to our annual family trip in July.  This time we are going to Anna Maria Island.  We have never been there, so it should be interesting.

A bit before that is Anel's birthday, which we seem to celebrate the entire month of July.  Last year we started a new tradition for her birthday.  Instead of celebrating with a birthday party, we go away for a 'girls' weekend.  She picks a location and we just make it a beach girls weekend.  Last year we went to Deerfield Beach with my sister and my niece and had an absolutely wonderful time.  This time I am pushing for the Marriott in Harbor Beach.  We'll see if that happens.

We will be celebrating Mother's Day by going out to dinner with the family. This is another tradition that we started a few years back.  We felt that by going out to dinner, no "mom" is obligated to carry the work of hosting it.  It has worked out very well, and I am really looking forward to it.

Here's wishing all the Mom's out there a blessed day.  My mission in life is simple- to love unconditionally and hope that my children make life choices that reflect who we are as a family and as individuals.  Easier said than done.

Regardless, I am blessed.

Last year's Mother's Day lunch at El Novillo.  May 2011