Well, since my last post, boring would not be the correct adjective to describe the experiences our family has been through. More like heartbreaking, difficult, unbelievable and devastating...
Three days following my last post, my brother-in-law, Tony, received the call he had been waiting for for the last 9 months. A new heart was awaiting him in Shands Hospital in Gainesville. Tony suffered from cardiomyopathy and although he lived a full life for roughly 12 years with this condition, it was inevitable that he would need a heart transplant. Filled with optimism, hope and gratitude, Tony received his heart on May 3rd, in what seemed to be an uneventful transplant.
Upon visiting him just roughly 24 hours after the procedure, my husband, mom and nephew who accompanied me to Shands, could hardly believe our eyes. Tony looked amazing! I kept saying and thinking how it seemed he had undergone a Tonsillectomy, not a heart transplant!
For the next few days, Tony seemed to be recovering nicely, albeit some minor common issues like tiredness, shortness of breath, etc... However, the day before Mother's Day, he just didn't feel well. Already home, I communicated with my sister who informed me that he just didn't look right...
Sparing all of you and myself with the heartbreaking details, Tony basically underwent a series of cardiac arrests, multiple infections, liver and kidney damage, a spleenectomy, probably hundreds of blood transfusions, medications, interventions, etc... for roughly 9 weeks. It was a hard, grueling nine weeks. Throughout this time, my sister kept a faith-filled vigil by his side. Family members and friends came and went, including myself. But my sister remained bedside. With determined faith-filled prayer and acceptance, she continually asked Christ for strength and fortitude to help her confront each unpredictable moment. Christ never fails. And that's exactly what He did. On July 12th, Tony's body could not withstand any further and he passed on. And my sister displayed the most strength, faith and acceptance in these circumstances than I've ever witnessed in another human being. I'm humbled by her.
Trying to recount the last 2+ months in details would be impossible. So I will just say this. Grief is not a state, it's a process. It's processed by individuals in different forms. There is no right way to grieve. However, it can be all-consuming. It can devastate you and it can tear your world to pieces.
Tony's passing has affected me and my family in ways that only those who have loved and lost someone, fairly young, can relate. It rips your heart out. It shakes you to your core. It literally takes your breath away. But those of us who live a faith filled life and who have a support system seem to fare a bit better. I see it in my sister. She's a living example of it. You've got to grieve, yell, scream, cry, hurt or even punch a wall. And one day, one day, I hope, that her, and all of those who have lost a loved one, learn to "dance" again, even if it's with the "limp" that their loved one's departing has left in their hearts. With God and love, all things are possible.
Tony, we promise you, to hold on to the memories we created and laugh at the fun times we shared. You are missed.
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